Upon hearing of the local "Ibiza Classics Night" at the Two Brewers and seeing as it was the same well known local mobile disc-jockey providing the tunes, many were agreed to attend this night. I can't remember how many were all there, however Paul was there as he was 'interested' in aforemention disc-jockeys' how do I put this, um, "decorative assistant". However his goal was not to be realised as he had 'intimate' relations with a certain young ginger lady (possibly on the stairs?). Further to this our driving hero Andy was again worse for wear and after a heavy night of partying at the Two Brewers, Andy was found upstairs. There may have been more DJing aspirations at this moment, one can't be too sure. Upon gettin Andy to leave, he was asked where his coat was. Having known aforemention disc-jockey for sometime, we had left our coats in his care. Andy picked up his coat, was asked if it was definately his, and took it with him as he left. Upon arrival at your gallant authors abode, our hero was looking somewhat reduced. At this point, A man not much older than us (4 years to be precise and who I found out later was my brothers mate Jonus) knocked on my front door with Andys' coat. Andy had taken Jonus' coat. Later that night as Andy was sick in the loo (at least we didn't put him outside as we had done with ben!) Paul asked the intelligent question, "Is anyone awake?". The genius of you all by pretending to be asleep meant that Paul, having identyfied himself as awake, then had to clean up the mess!
I also believe that this was the night that we all mooned Simon Todd as he drove past my front garden . . .
As per usual, the increase in age and alcohol may have meant I've embellished upon my tale and possibly merged more than 7 nights into 1!
Saturday, September 30, 2006
The Two Brewers in Olney - The one with the bacon sandwiches
There have been numerous occasion when New Years Eve has been in Olney. Some events regarding this time of year and this particular town are best left un-said, aren't they James? However, a one particular year springs to mind when discussing this topic. After a heavy night of partying at the Two Brewers, as we were about to leave, Andy was no-where to be found. Upon searching for the lost reveller, I came across him on the ground floor of the pub, where he instructed me that the two of us were going to play a 'back-to-back' set on a well known local mobile disc-jockeys' equipment to finish the party for the whole pub. After being dragged upstairs, I had convinced the budding young DJ not to attempt to take a spin, but to get his coat as we were all leaving. Upon arriving at Andys house, the kind host offered to cook us bacon sandwiches. 'How kind and thoughtful' thought we. Unfortunately, upon passing Andy in the kitchen I noticed, as he tended so carefully to the grill pan, that he had neglected to include bacon in his grand scheme!
As ever, age as well as units of alcohol then and now, can make the story somewhat distorted, please feel free to embellish! And to keep a tradition . . . . . . 'the rest is a little fuzzy' . . .
As ever, age as well as units of alcohol then and now, can make the story somewhat distorted, please feel free to embellish! And to keep a tradition . . . . . . 'the rest is a little fuzzy' . . .
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
The 12 pubs of Newport
Here it is, my first entry to the blog and I have been handed a Belter to write about, I hope I do it justice. I believe The 12 pubs of Newport has gone down in local folk legend.
Date: Unknown, Time: About 7-8pm Location: Newport Pagnell, Weather: Unimportant, Rules: At least 1 alcoholic drink to be consumed in each Pubic house. Do the Maths, 12 drinks in a 3hour period, it's not going to be pretty.
I am probably the worst person to be writing this in terms of actual fact but the general jist will be there and the gaps in my memory will be filled with weird and wonderful made up stuff which you will have to filter out.
It seems to me that all the stories so far seem to imply at some point in them that "the rest is a little fuzzy", partly due to our aging, dwindling memories and mainly due to the exorbitant amount of alcohol being consumed. So to continue this theme my blog entry will end with "the rest is a little fuzzy..."
If anyone is in question as to which the 12 pubs are, here they are IN ORDER,
The Dove
The Red House
The Kingfisher
The Green Man
The Rose and Crown
The Coachmakers
The Dolphin
The Plough
The Cannon
The Frog
The Mighty Kings Arms -Finite
The observant amongst you may have noticed that there are only 11 pubs in this list, but I will continue the blog in the vein hope I will find the twelfth somewhere. I continue. It all started (7pm-8pm) in The Dove (as all good nights out do) with a solid pint. I would give you a full list of those in attendance but I cannot be 100% sure, but if my memory serves me correct Pete, Paul, Ben?, Gareth, Winston Churchill and Mike? were present. Those who I have missed, i'm sorry, i'm sure we all enjoyed your company, but I was very, very drunk. You may wish to add a comment to ensure time does not forget you. James I know you weren't there but we knew you would've if you could've, however if my memory serves me correct you were off drinking somewhere else, good man.
Back to the point, in short, we all unicycled from the Dove to the Red House, got shot, I mean had a shot, unicycled out of the Red house being shot and got a lift from Luke (in Gareths car) to the Kingfisher. (This i am sure of, we had dumped the unicycles at this point). After purchasing and consuming a beverage (of some kind) we observed the local pond life in the Kingfisher and were particularly intrigued by some of the more primitive 4-eyed amphibians. (the Guiness advert springs to mind). A short helicopter flight landed us on the roof of the Green man where we were all escorted down to a table where our drinks were waiting. We stayed for a short while before hopping on the travelator which runs between The Green man and The Rose and Crown. We arranged for the helicopter to meet us later. After a brisk trip down memory lane, (though i don't believe I was pubbing in The Rose and Crown era) we jogged to The Coachmakers and jogged out of The Coachmakers, in fact we continued in this way all the way up the High Street, spending as little time in The Dolphin, The Plough and The Cannon as humanly possible to avoid being stabbed, glassed or bummed respectively, before coming to a brief but well earned rest in The (penultimate) Frog. By this point my memory is very shady and the following helicopter ride I could explain to you in vivid detail MAY actually have happened, but the 11 empty glasses trailing in my wake will not let me enter this part of my head. Any how, the last drink in The Kings Arms was spent in the worst possible place about 35ft up on a bar stool wobbling about where a vague window of memory tells me I was drinking something ropey and striking up slurred conversation with someone. Pete, I so i understand, was for no apparent reason laying on the grass outside the pub on the phone, Gareth was probably totally unaffected by the 155 units of alcohol running round his system, Paul was probably stripping naked ready to fall asleep on his toilet when he arrived home and Mike was probably having a pop at a some bouncer. I also believe there was a fight erupting (probably Mike) on the streets outside The Bull... the twelfth pub was The Bull! Yeah we had a drink in there too. The (penultimate) Bull, sorry Frog you just got demoted.
So here they are, The 12 pubs of Newport.
The Dove
The Red House
The Kingfisher
The Green Man
The Rose and Crown
The Coachmakers
The Dolphin
The Plough
The Cannon
The Frog (formerly The penultimate Frog now just The Frog)
The (penultimate) Bull
The Mighty Kings Arms -Finite
Please feel free to add your own personal endings, though I never feel a night out in Newport is complete finished without a good kebab and a vomit.
(11pm+) My own personal ending to the story resulted in me vomiting extremely violently, going to bed being looked after by my elder sister and then following her around the house with a bucket full of sick. She told me i scared her, yes, scared her. The rest is a little fuzzy...
Date: Unknown, Time: About 7-8pm Location: Newport Pagnell, Weather: Unimportant, Rules: At least 1 alcoholic drink to be consumed in each Pubic house. Do the Maths, 12 drinks in a 3hour period, it's not going to be pretty.
I am probably the worst person to be writing this in terms of actual fact but the general jist will be there and the gaps in my memory will be filled with weird and wonderful made up stuff which you will have to filter out.
It seems to me that all the stories so far seem to imply at some point in them that "the rest is a little fuzzy", partly due to our aging, dwindling memories and mainly due to the exorbitant amount of alcohol being consumed. So to continue this theme my blog entry will end with "the rest is a little fuzzy..."
If anyone is in question as to which the 12 pubs are, here they are IN ORDER,
The Dove
The Red House
The Kingfisher
The Green Man
The Rose and Crown
The Coachmakers
The Dolphin
The Plough
The Cannon
The Frog
The Mighty Kings Arms -Finite
The observant amongst you may have noticed that there are only 11 pubs in this list, but I will continue the blog in the vein hope I will find the twelfth somewhere. I continue. It all started (7pm-8pm) in The Dove (as all good nights out do) with a solid pint. I would give you a full list of those in attendance but I cannot be 100% sure, but if my memory serves me correct Pete, Paul, Ben?, Gareth, Winston Churchill and Mike? were present. Those who I have missed, i'm sorry, i'm sure we all enjoyed your company, but I was very, very drunk. You may wish to add a comment to ensure time does not forget you. James I know you weren't there but we knew you would've if you could've, however if my memory serves me correct you were off drinking somewhere else, good man.
Back to the point, in short, we all unicycled from the Dove to the Red House, got shot, I mean had a shot, unicycled out of the Red house being shot and got a lift from Luke (in Gareths car) to the Kingfisher. (This i am sure of, we had dumped the unicycles at this point). After purchasing and consuming a beverage (of some kind) we observed the local pond life in the Kingfisher and were particularly intrigued by some of the more primitive 4-eyed amphibians. (the Guiness advert springs to mind). A short helicopter flight landed us on the roof of the Green man where we were all escorted down to a table where our drinks were waiting. We stayed for a short while before hopping on the travelator which runs between The Green man and The Rose and Crown. We arranged for the helicopter to meet us later. After a brisk trip down memory lane, (though i don't believe I was pubbing in The Rose and Crown era) we jogged to The Coachmakers and jogged out of The Coachmakers, in fact we continued in this way all the way up the High Street, spending as little time in The Dolphin, The Plough and The Cannon as humanly possible to avoid being stabbed, glassed or bummed respectively, before coming to a brief but well earned rest in The (penultimate) Frog. By this point my memory is very shady and the following helicopter ride I could explain to you in vivid detail MAY actually have happened, but the 11 empty glasses trailing in my wake will not let me enter this part of my head. Any how, the last drink in The Kings Arms was spent in the worst possible place about 35ft up on a bar stool wobbling about where a vague window of memory tells me I was drinking something ropey and striking up slurred conversation with someone. Pete, I so i understand, was for no apparent reason laying on the grass outside the pub on the phone, Gareth was probably totally unaffected by the 155 units of alcohol running round his system, Paul was probably stripping naked ready to fall asleep on his toilet when he arrived home and Mike was probably having a pop at a some bouncer. I also believe there was a fight erupting (probably Mike) on the streets outside The Bull... the twelfth pub was The Bull! Yeah we had a drink in there too. The (penultimate) Bull, sorry Frog you just got demoted.
So here they are, The 12 pubs of Newport.
The Dove
The Red House
The Kingfisher
The Green Man
The Rose and Crown
The Coachmakers
The Dolphin
The Plough
The Cannon
The Frog (formerly The penultimate Frog now just The Frog)
The (penultimate) Bull
The Mighty Kings Arms -Finite
Please feel free to add your own personal endings, though I never feel a night out in Newport is complete finished without a good kebab and a vomit.
(11pm+) My own personal ending to the story resulted in me vomiting extremely violently, going to bed being looked after by my elder sister and then following her around the house with a bucket full of sick. She told me i scared her, yes, scared her. The rest is a little fuzzy...
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
The Table and Pete
Okay, so for my first addition to The Chronicle I’m going to chronicle the “near fatal” incident where Pete tried to steal James’ sister’s phone number; because it always makes my chortle…
Anyway, during one of our many visits to Lloyds Pete, in his infinite wisdom decided he would attempt to acquire James’ little sister’s phone number, which would entail him having to steal James’ phone! Little did Pete realise that his attempt to do this would see him put through a table, sending all the drinks flying!
Things are a little fuzzy from here-on-in, but I think we were asked to leave shortly after. So believer it or not, Pete learnt his lesson and I don't believe he's tried since...
Andy x
Anyway, during one of our many visits to Lloyds Pete, in his infinite wisdom decided he would attempt to acquire James’ little sister’s phone number, which would entail him having to steal James’ phone! Little did Pete realise that his attempt to do this would see him put through a table, sending all the drinks flying!
Things are a little fuzzy from here-on-in, but I think we were asked to leave shortly after. So believer it or not, Pete learnt his lesson and I don't believe he's tried since...
Andy x
Christmas eve eve
I believe it is probably time for me to make my first addition to this rather ambitious project!
There are a vast array of nights to choose from but think I am going to start with a biggie, Christmas eve eve 2004. What started off as an ordinary evening where we met Pete who was out with zoom for some well deserved pre Christmas drinks descended into what can only be described as anarchy. A few drinks at the Slug and Lettuce, very civilised. Move onto Lloyds, it is beginning getting a bit rowdy and everyone (save for our hero Andy) is slowly getting the worse for wear!
Then we manage to get shuttled up to Revolution, all I remember of this particular place was bright blue drinks, Pete necking severe amounts of Jack Daniels and us being forced to leave when they turned the lights on and finally told us to sling our collective hooks. Any additions to this to shed some light on what happened to us during those three hours would be appreciated!
Pete and I were not around for the next section of the evening as we walked his work colleague Jan home but I believe that there were a few unscheduled pit stops between Milton Keynes and Newport Pagnell. I would appreciate some clarification on this!!
We eventually made it home very late, very drunk and with the addition of a pack of South African tea.
I think it would be foolish to leave the story unfinished. Christmas eve is usually one of the prime nights out of the year. It usually involves a good amount of beer, a curry then more beer. This year things were not to be so simple. A high point of this time of year is the HMV sale which started on Christmas eve. Pete, Paul and I had arranged to wander up to the shopping centre, buy some cd's have some lunch and relax. However, this was before we reckoned with the force of the hangover from the previous evenings frivolities. The HMV sale lasted somewhere between 15 seconds and 1 minute before we were all forced to leave.
It was then an amusing twist on the whole tale occurred. Rob called asking where we were. I probably should have explained that he was due to start work at either 8.30 or 9 on the Christmas eve. I understand that Rob was awoken by a call from work asking him where he was, he arrived 2 hours (ish) late and left just after midday to meet us in the pub where surprisingly none of us were drinking!!
That concludes one of the more legendary nights of the past few years.
There are a vast array of nights to choose from but think I am going to start with a biggie, Christmas eve eve 2004. What started off as an ordinary evening where we met Pete who was out with zoom for some well deserved pre Christmas drinks descended into what can only be described as anarchy. A few drinks at the Slug and Lettuce, very civilised. Move onto Lloyds, it is beginning getting a bit rowdy and everyone (save for our hero Andy) is slowly getting the worse for wear!
Then we manage to get shuttled up to Revolution, all I remember of this particular place was bright blue drinks, Pete necking severe amounts of Jack Daniels and us being forced to leave when they turned the lights on and finally told us to sling our collective hooks. Any additions to this to shed some light on what happened to us during those three hours would be appreciated!
Pete and I were not around for the next section of the evening as we walked his work colleague Jan home but I believe that there were a few unscheduled pit stops between Milton Keynes and Newport Pagnell. I would appreciate some clarification on this!!
We eventually made it home very late, very drunk and with the addition of a pack of South African tea.
I think it would be foolish to leave the story unfinished. Christmas eve is usually one of the prime nights out of the year. It usually involves a good amount of beer, a curry then more beer. This year things were not to be so simple. A high point of this time of year is the HMV sale which started on Christmas eve. Pete, Paul and I had arranged to wander up to the shopping centre, buy some cd's have some lunch and relax. However, this was before we reckoned with the force of the hangover from the previous evenings frivolities. The HMV sale lasted somewhere between 15 seconds and 1 minute before we were all forced to leave.
It was then an amusing twist on the whole tale occurred. Rob called asking where we were. I probably should have explained that he was due to start work at either 8.30 or 9 on the Christmas eve. I understand that Rob was awoken by a call from work asking him where he was, he arrived 2 hours (ish) late and left just after midday to meet us in the pub where surprisingly none of us were drinking!!
That concludes one of the more legendary nights of the past few years.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Anarchy in Tenerife
Okay, my first entry is going to be the classic incident in Tenerife with Munns and the football.
Some of us were playing keep-ups badly one evening. Munns, deciding he was Pele and trying to defy the laws of physics, tried to kick it hard and straight to James, somehow thinking that the table full of empty glasses between them would be unaffected.
It wasn't.
Rarely have I laughed so much at one man's stupidity!
Pete x
Some of us were playing keep-ups badly one evening. Munns, deciding he was Pele and trying to defy the laws of physics, tried to kick it hard and straight to James, somehow thinking that the table full of empty glasses between them would be unaffected.
It wasn't.
Rarely have I laughed so much at one man's stupidity!
Pete x
The Chronicle Project
This idea was born like all classic ideas - in the pub. It's from the times when one of us will say 'do you remember when...?', and you'd forgotten until then. So, one dark saturday night in September, we decided to start making a log of all the stupid crap we got up to, for future reference. Obviously, like all pub ideas, it wasn't followed through by me at first. But increased interest in the idea since has pressured me into getting it started.
So, you will be recieving The Chronicle soon.
Now, organic growth of a project like this is preferred, but this is not 'Nam, we must have rules:
And those are the rules. If you've recieved this mail, I believe that you are important enough to be involved. Of course there are others who you may believe it is essential to be involved. It's not for me to say who should be included or excluded.
So, The Chronicles project will begin tonight, Sunday 17th September, 2006.
It may succeed, it may fail, but we'll try it anyway. So, sit back, and await it to land in your mailbox soon.
Godspeed, The Chronicle
So, you will be recieving The Chronicle soon.
Now, organic growth of a project like this is preferred, but this is not 'Nam, we must have rules:
- When you recieve The Chronicle, don't 'dilly-dally' with it, write something and pass it on.
- You cannot forward it to the person from who you recieved it. There will be no passing it back and forth between 2 of you! Try to include everyone.
- As important as he is to us all, Paul will only check his emails every 426 years, so if you pass it to him, for God's sake, make sure he knows it's there, and stress the importance of passing it on quickly!
- Let's keep those involved limited to those of us who have grown up together, no long-lost ex's or friends the rest of us met for 7 minutes.
And those are the rules. If you've recieved this mail, I believe that you are important enough to be involved. Of course there are others who you may believe it is essential to be involved. It's not for me to say who should be included or excluded.
So, The Chronicles project will begin tonight, Sunday 17th September, 2006.
It may succeed, it may fail, but we'll try it anyway. So, sit back, and await it to land in your mailbox soon.
Godspeed, The Chronicle
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